Diaper Rash from H-E-Double-Hockeysticks

Generally, I only bore people in my immediate vicinity with details about Olivia's rear end. But today, my friends, I am flexing my cyber muscle and boring you all. Don't worry, no icky heiny pictures.

Olivia's butt has bloomed a wicked diaper rash. I guess it started over the weekend, when Reuben banished me to a hotel for the night so that I could quit bitching about never getting any writing done and enjoy an evening of quiet solitude, long hot shower, and scrumptious dinner. So, in short, this is most likely the Diaper Gods' way of letting me know that there is just no rest for the wicked. Oh well. I'm married to an awesome man who values my sanity and good humor, so the Diaper Gods can suck it.

Anyway, Olivia has the nickname Monkey Butt for a reason. Her tush is always a little red and has been since birth. So it's easy for a real diaper rash to sneak up on us. They rarely do, but this one attacked like a ninja. With great stealth and blistering power. Literally. It was so bad that we risked a wait at the pediatrician's office on a Monday, for Pete's sake (only to be told, in sympathetic tones, that it is indeed diaper rash and not flesh eating bacteria, and that the only thing you can really do is just slather that sucker with as much Desitin as you can afford - note to self: buy stock in Desitin). Did you know sometimes rashes like this just come up out of nowhere and there is nothing you can do to stop them? Crap, I hate diaper rashes. Probably more info than anybody ever needed to know about any topic ever, but there it is. I know... Olivia's college fund will probably be more aptly applied to therapy bills.

Now, after a full week of butt cream and disposable diapers, the rash from Hell is almost all gone. I cannot wait to put her back in her cloth diapers. I had forgotten just how much disposables cost when you use them on a daily basis! Granted, you change diapers a lot more often when you're combating the world's worst rash, but still. I never thought I'd really miss using the cloth diapers, mainly because of the laundry. No, I don't miss the laundry, but I do miss the cash! And, while I'm not quite sure how Olivia feels on the subject, I'd sure love to stop smelling like rash cream. I think that my poor baby's little bum should be all healed by tomorrow night. I hope.

To end things on a good note, how cute is my little supermodel? Very.